2013 Reflections - Challenges, Adventures and Growth

Ideally, I would like to live to the age of around 80 - long enough to satisfy my curiosity and wonder, but hopefully not too long to have to endure the challenges of illness and getting senile. If assuming this wish is granted, this means that 2013 would be the year when I step from the first half to the second half of my life. Worth putting down my thoughts at this juncture.

Some significant events:-

Gobi March

Ultras or other extreme endurance sports have the potentials of shifting people's lives. The physical and mental demands of training and going through races can shake us up, make us face our deepest fears and weaknesses, give us the courage to push all boundaries and live our wildest dreams.

Gobi March certainly opened that door for me, and interestingly, the real transformation came after the race. One of my major takeaways was gaining the courage which I never had. For the past 6 months, I have signed up for tougher local races, and I am so contented and accepted full responsibility for putting myself in all sorts of awful situations in races, one after another. Yet, I felt so blessed and proud of myself that I was able to endure and actually enjoy the experience.

Since Gobi, the racing bucket list has got crazier and crazier, at least that's how my friends describe. But to me, I am just searching for higher quality travelling experience. I used to be a city-hopping traveller, now I just want to see places which are untouched, I want to see places before they are destroyed by global warming or infrastructure development,  I want to experience cultures before they are compromised by commercialism.  More importantly, I want to use my legs to walk these places because walking gives me the connection with mother earth, it gives me the space and time to explore cultures and interact with people and all forms of life, it gives me the awareness that I am somewhere between heaven and earth, where time is linear and finite, and so every moment counts...
  
The social enterprise workshop

My friend Pui Fung said yesterday when we were having a get together drink, "the first two years of a social enterprise is for the most part, a warm-up, a game and nowhere near the substance."  I'm not sure if I can fully appreciate what she is saying, because she is looking back from a ten-year journey. But at least I realize I am only at the start if I want this journey to continue.

The first two years were hard enough, but I treasure each and every moment from the start. The business, the people, the results and the challenges have sped up my personal growth immensely, not to mention the mentorship and support I received along the way.

I've said before that the experience so far is like studying an MBA, acted out by myself and for real. Now that I come to think about it, I have only completed the first semester and looking forward to starting the next round.

Making new friends and finding an adventurous me

I never appreciated how much of a blessing it is living in Hong Kong until recently. Within 18 months, I have explored (with the help of new friends) almost all country parks and trails, the waterfalls and so many other intriguing landmarks that I wouldn't have imagined them to exist. And still there are more!

Work and major reshuffle

What happened to me or around me in the office in the past 2 months, was on the face of it seemed frustrating. Now after some digestion, I can look at it from a different perspective. I think they are significant because the time and the circumstances are finally mature, the dots and lines are about to be connected and take me to the next thing. Will know what this is in 2014 and looking forward to it. That said, I will always be grateful to the past 5 years. I have had so much happiness, fun and growth working in this company.

Officially single and a whole new world begins

The uneventful divorce has been a great blessing. I do not regret closing that door and burying the past, because I can never go back to that life again. It is equally a blessing to find another door leading to a new path, one that is full of unknown and exciting adventures.

"Life is either a daring adventure or nothing." 
Helen Keller (1880-1968) 

"There is no end to the adventures that we can have if only we seek them with our eyes open."
 Jawaharlal Nehru (1889-1964)

"It is only in adventure that some people succeed in knowing themselves - in finding themselves."
Andre Gide (1869 - 1951)

I Just Want to Travel, That's All

Today, I received an email from RacingThePlanet attaching a fun badge saying "I am training for Sahara/Jordan 2014". Last year this time round, I was spending most of my time training and racing. This year, I am still racing (but for the purpose of training), and not doing much training other than fun hikes. By now I am really convinced that I am not a dedicated runner and I don't aspire to be a good one. I only want to travel and be out there with nature. Putting training, racing and travelling together sounds like a perfect combo for me. Travelling is the motivation and the ultimate goal. The other two are just the means to an end.

I did a bit of research and found a few really good quotes about travelling worth studying and digesting.

"Too many of us wait to do the perfect thing, with the result we do nothing. The way to get ahead is to start now. While many of us are waiting until conditions are "just right" before we go ahead, others are stumbling along, fortunately ignorant of the dangers that beset them. By the time we are, in our superior wisdom, decided to make a start, we discover that those who have gone fearlessly on before, have, in their blundering way, traveled a considerable distance. If you start now, you will know a lot next year that you don't know now, and that you will not know next year, if you wait."

"Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference."

- Robert Frost

"Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned, worn or consumed. Happiness is the spiritual experience of living every minute with love, grace and gratitude."

- Denis Waitley

"The service we render to others is really the rent we pay for our room on this earth. It is obvious that man is himself a traveler; that the purpose of this world is not "to have and to hold" but "to give and serve." There can be no other meaning."

- Sir Wilfred T. Grenfell

"If you want to succeed you should strike out on new paths, rather than travel the worn paths of accepted success."

- John D. Rockefeller

"To travel hopefully is a better thing than to arrive."

- Robert Louis Stevenson

An Accidental Journey

Up to now I still have not completely digested the idea of moving my 250k ultra from August to February next year and I am only 120 days away from the next most insane or most fantastic journey of my life.

A few months ago, a friend gave me the idea of changing gear. Changes with my job also made me reconsider the timing of my races. Financially, I would spend less money doing Jordan compared with Madagascar. So that was it. I was meant to do the Jordan race, so I thought.

Half of me trusted that moving to Jordan was the right move. The other half of me started to have doubts such as:- (1) the Jordan is going to be a lot harder than Gobi because the sand makes walking and running very inefficient; (2) there are lots of up and down hills; (3) It will be very cold and even rainy in February, which will mean a heavy pack and wet clothes.

This is a good analogy of life I guess, like an assortment of candies or cookies. You probably won't like all of them, but you have to live with the whole package. To make life happier, you can pace and prioritize yourself, such as how fast you eat up the candies you don't like, giving yourself a treat of the goodies in between the disgusting ones etc..

Yesterday I typed out the words "an accidental journey" on Google and found an interesting website. It was about an event or a platform bringing together speakers sharing their experience on innovative and inspiring ways to open the next door in your life's journey. A doorway to inspiration, direction and purpose. Perhaps I should look at my accidental journey from this perspective too.

Between the Inner Journey and Outer Journey

“What if our religion was each other  
If our practice was our life
If prayer, our words
What if the temple was the Earth  
If forests were our church  
If holy water—the rivers, lakes, and ocean
What if meditation was our relationships
If the teacher was life
If wisdom was self-knowledge  
If love was the center of our being.” ~ Ganga White

It has been quite some time since I formed a habit of morning short meditation and prayers. It is a great blessing that the first thing I am consciously aware of everyday is gratitude, then comes compassion, trust, surrender, healing and forgiveness. It has taken a long journey to get to this natural state of experiencing love and happiness.

The journey from then to now has been a lot more fun than I thought. When I first graduated from university, I went through a few bumpy years of changing jobs and relationship disappointment, but that also led me to deeper self-discovery and a broad spectrum of spiritual experiences.

For many years, I thought the spiritual path for the rest of my life would be largely inward, based on meditation and yoga. I am very grateful that yoga and meditation are still the core of my spiritual existence, but God seems to have given me a big bonus. Work has brought me to connect with people and cultures from all over the world. More recently, I bumped into another bonus called ultra running.    

The outer journey is a precious experience of seeing the beauty and wonders of creation. This has given me tremendous inspiration, on how I can expand on the gifts that I've been given, and channel the love, compassion and happiness through humble and meaningful service. It is amazing that this source of inspiration has been like a self-perpetuating fountain. The more I use it, the more I get.

After a 12 year cycle of discovering my spirituality, I feel like going back to the person I was 12 years ago, and tell myself, "I am the person you are looking for and that journey ahead is a life you will never regret". 

 “Your life is a sacred journey. It is about change, growth, discovery, movement, transformation, continuously expanding your vision of what is possible, stretching your soul, learning to see clearly and deeply, listening to your intuition, taking courageous challenges at every step along the way. You are on the path… exactly where you are meant to be right now… And from here, you can only go forward, shaping your life story into a magnificent tale of triumph, of healing, of courage, of beauty, of wisdom, of power, of dignity, and of love.” ~ by Caroline Adams

A New Running Season

 “We must become so alone, so utterly alone, that we withdraw into our innermost self. It is a way of bitter suffering. But then our solitude is overcome, we are no longer alone, for we find that our innermost self is the spirit, that it is God, the indivisible. And suddenly we find ourselves in the midst of the world, yet undisturbed by its multiplicity, for our innermost soul we know ourselves to be one with all being.”
― Herman Hesse

 “There is a pleasure in the pathless woods,
There is a rapture on the lonely shore,
There is society, where none intrudes,
By the deep sea, and music in its roar:
I love not man the less, but Nature more”

― George Gordon Byron

Tomorrow is the start of a new running season and I am in a very different mood compared with last year. Last year this time, I was filled with lots of excitement. I was training with the same group of three friends aiming at the first ultra in my life - The Raleigh Wilson Challenge. By now, one teammate has found a new venture in Kenya, another teammate is no longer interested or has no time for ultras. Only Sam who has inspired me about ultras and has taken me on this journey is still my training buddy. But she often has to travel for work and so I have been training by myself or with a group of new friends this summer. I certainly enjoy the company of friends, but being alone gives me the time and space to communicate with my inner self, and gives me a great sense of inner peace.

I am much less aggressive compared with last year. I would just take my training gently, slowly and at a slow speed. I enjoy just to be out there in the nature by myself, under whatever weather. I stop whenever I feel like stopping, feel the breeze brushing my face, feel grateful that I have gone through so many interesting races, journeys and have met so many people along the way.

I still have exciting plans in my bucket though. The 2014 highlights would hopefully be finishing Vibram HK100, RacingThePlanet Jordan and UTMF STY. Later in the year, hopefully I can have a first taste of Oxfam Trailwalker. 2015 would be the Mustang Trail Race in Spring and late summer would be UTMB TDS. Or maybe most of these efforts are intended to prepare myself for UTMB TDS. I haven't seen my great friend Dolores for years and it would be wonderful if we can have a reunion at the Chamonix.

Some interesting facts about Jordan

While planning for my flights to Jordan, I did some quick research about the country. The bits and pieces help me put things into perspective, and this photo is also an interesting metaphor as well.

Geography

Jordan borders Saudi Arabia to the south and east, Iraq to the north-east, Syria to the north, Palestine and Israel to the west, sharing control of the Dead Sea with the latter.

History

Jordan is part of a region considered to be "the cradle of civilization", the Levant region of the Fertile Crescent. 

Throughout different eras of history, parts of the country were controlled by regional powers including Pharaonic Egypt during their wars with the Babylonians and the Hittites; and for discrete periods of times by Israelites. 

In 1946, the UN recognized Transjordan as an independent sovereign kingdom. The Parliament of Transjordan proclaimed King Abdullah as the first King. The country's name was changed to Jordan.

Demographics

In 2011, the population was about 6,249,000. In 2007, there were 700,000–1,000,000 Iraqis in Jordan. Over 500,000 Syrian refugees have fled to Jordan since 2012.

Economy


The Jordanian economy is beset by insufficient supplies of water, oil, and other natural resources. Other challenges include high budget deficit, high outstanding public debt, high levels of poverty and unemployment, which is nominally around 13%.

Due to slow domestic growth, high energy and food subsidies and a bloated public sector workforce, Jordan usually runs annual budget deficits, which are partially offsets by international aid.

Tourism accounted for 10%–12% of the country's GDP in 2006. In 2010, there were 8 million visitors to Jordan. The result was $3.4 billion in tourism revenues, $4.4 billion if medical tourists are included.

Jordan's economy has improved greatly since King Abdullah II ascended to the throne in 1999, reforms included foreign investment, public-private partnerships, setting up free trade, special economic zones and the ICT sector. As a result, Jordan's economic growth has doubled to 6% annually.

Others


The Jordanian legal system is derived from the Napoleonic Code (inherited from the Ottoman and Egyptian legal systems) and Sharia. It has also been influenced by tribal traditions

Jordan is a key ally of the US and together with Egypt, are one of only two Arab nations to have made peace with Israel.

Total health spending in 2002 was about 7.5% of GDP. Life expectancy in Jordan is 80.18 years, the second highest in the region (after Israel).

20.5% of Jordan's total government expenditures goes to education compared to 2.5% in Turkey and 3.86% in Syria.

According to the Global Innovation Index 2011, Jordan is the 3rd most innovative economy in the Middle East, behind Qatar and United Arab Emirates. 

Re-visiting my Gobi March memories

 

 

 

Thanks to Lucille's suggestion, I thought it would be fun to capture bits and pieces from my Gobi blog and re-visit them in the context of Jordan. Some are more ridiculous than others, some are reflective and some are just straight from the heart.

 

 

"The more lighthearted I am, the more fantastic the day becomes."

 

"I thought the long march is going to be a long day, so it doesn’t matter where I stand at the start line. I decided to go to the toilet when everyone was at the start line and became officially the last person to start."

"I was really amazed that after 5 days and 200k, I still had strength in me and was running the last 16k."

"The Gobi for me is a 70% travelling experience, 20% spiritual journey of self-discovery and 10% physical challenge."

"Every step is a step closer, that's what I tell myself."

"Yesterday was the second day of the race. The terrain was manageable but my pain management experience was not. "

 

"Today is the most difficult in terms of the terrain. We had to climb up really steep mountains but the scenery was absolutely stunning. I almost wanted to say it's worth everything to come here, but with the pain in my shoulders and feet, I really couldn't get myself to say that." 

"I am happy with any distance, any trail and any conditions that Mother Nature permits every time I train.   I used to be afraid of heights and dreaded uphill. I have learnt to focus on the present moment and focus on my step one by one, see fear as distractions and avoid them."

"Now that I come to reflect upon it, Gobi is just the start. The journey of preparation alone has changed my life and my perspectives forever, but I am already planning further goals after Gobi."

The twists and turns of my 4 deserts journey

The winners in life treat their body as if it were a magnificent spacecraft that gives them the finest transportation and endurance for their lives.
Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/keywords/endurance.html#0qBRDutYxmEKYH5h.99

"The winners in life treat their body as if it were a magnificent spacecraft that gives them the finest transportation and endurance for their lives."

I thought after Gobi I would rest for a long time before doing another 250k desert race. At least a year I thought, so Madagascar sounds like a great plan - 14 months and a journey through baobab trees and lemurs. It didn't even occur to me at that time that I would be remotely interested in Sahara. I don't thrive under hot weather.

A few months ago, I thought I had the most fantastic job anyone could dream of. I had a real job, decent pay, am able to pursue my passion and social causes, and a balanced life which could afford me the time and energy for training.

In recent weeks, I was caught in a swirl of company and team restructuring. I was being interviewed, lobbied, evaluated (favorably and unfavorably) and pushed around. So much for a dream job.

All these changes made me rethink my Madagascar plans. I am not sure about the way things are moving  around me. It would be a good idea to focus on something else, clear my head and plan ahead. If I really make a move at some point, it would not look good to take a long no pay leave with a new employer. All these factors considered, it made sense to drop Madagascar.

But since I have already paid for the Madagascar deposit, the question is moving the deposit forward or backward. If assuming I might make a career move, the only way is to move forward.

Coincidentally, the race organizers moved the Sahara race to February, i.e. cold winter and due to the political situation in Egypt, the race is now moved to Jordan. This means if I join, I will be starting my journey from Wadi Rum (the Lawrence of Arabia story), passing through 4 deserts and arriving at the finish line at Petra.

The next few months would mean a new career challenge, a new race season, and preparations for a journey of a life time.  I am so grateful that the power of endurance is still firmly holding within.

How do I want to live the rest of my life?

Friends were sharing an article on Facebook today titled "30 things to stop doing to yourself". The article starts with an opening phrase which I like, it says "When you stop chasing the wrong things you give the right things a chance to catch you."

The article also referred to Maria Robinson's quote, “Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.”  But beyond these few lines, I don't quite resonate with the rest of the article, probably because there is no need for me to "stop" doing any of the things that were mentioned. Rather, it is about adding more to the positive attributes that I have already found. I think it would be more useful to develop my own positive list and wish lists, setting out the things that I should do or do more for myself. Here I go:-


1. Spend time nurturing quality relationships, whether it's family, love or friendships
2. My needs are very important
3. Look inward for my happiness
4. Seize every moment, give the best I have to give
5. Pay attention to the beauty of even the smallest things and smallest moments
6. Do something extraordinary
7. Be grateful
8. Be compassionate
9. Be happy
10. Be who I am 
11. Be brave 

12. Have fun always


The Fun Bucket List

1. RacingThePlanet 4Deserts series & roving races
2. The Mustang Trail Race
3. Action Asia Nepal, Mongolia
4. The Most Beautiful Thing, Malaysia
5. Bagan Temple Run, Burma
6. The Ancient Khmer Path, Cambodia
7. Marathon De Sables
8. The North Face series 
9. UTMF & UTMB
10. Grand 2 Grand

11. Chasqui Challenge, Peru
12. La Ultra-The High, Ladakh, India
13. Lots of fun marathons around the world: Medoc, Istanbul, Jerusalem, Berlin and many others...

The "Make a Difference" Bucket List

Travel to some of my dream destinations including Afghanistan, Burma, Africa and Latin America. Do something meaningful, something that can make a difference to the lives of the people there. But of course, I would like to  contribute just as much to local communities here in HK. 

My Greatest Learning Project Since Graduation (Part 4)

A year ago, I thought training for ultramarathons from nothing was the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. But during the training, I was also working on the social enterprise project. For a whole year, I was  spending almost all my weekends either with the sewing ladies, designers, potential investors, volunteers etc.. I remember a week before running the Vibram HK100, I was telling my friend Leong how working on the social enterprise project was actually tougher than training for an ultra, and how managing the social enterprise project together with the training felt like I was doing HK200.

There was a long while when I would wake up in the wee hours of the morning asking myself what the hell was I doing, especially when I was not even remotely interested in running a business. Recently, I was finally able to come to terms with myself. I have convinced myself that I have spent pretty much the same amount of money, time and effort doing an MBA plus social science plus environmental sustainability degree. Instead of reading and researching, I have acted it out, which made it even more fun and valuable.

I am very grateful to those who have given me the inspiration and shown me this admirable cause - Francis of SVHK who has shown by his own example of what it means to dedicate your life to serving society. Dr. Siu of the Baptist University who showed me the potential and transformation of the sewing ladies. Mr. Chu, Mr. Chong and Ada of LplusH who have shown me what it takes to operate a world class social enterprise. Bob, Alex, Times and Angel who gave me their time, their heart, talent and expertise for free. Last but not the least, Leong, for being my most important mentor and investor, and for believing in me.

Every time when I was about to give up, I would remind myself that it is a great blessing to have such talented and dedicated people inspiring and guiding me, and so I should try my best, give it all I could and keep going.

When I started this project, I was hoping that I could bring out the worth and potentials of the sewing ladies. Now that I look back, I was actually the person who gained the most out of it. The sewing ladies probably were making just as much money and subject to the same risks had they worked elsewhere. I am not able to offer any greater sense of job security. The only thing I was able to offer them was a little sense of joy and pride. Day after day, they were using their sewing skills, but stepping outside of their comfort zone and trying new things.

I don't think I have empowered the ladies, but this whole experience has certainly transformed and humbled me. The past three years of working on this has taught me so much about society, business, reality, my values, passion and inner strength. No matter what the outcome is, it has been a truly rewarding journey. 

My Greatest Learning Project Since Graduation (Part 3)

 

“A man who works with his hands is a laborer; a man who works with his hands and his brain is a craftsman; but a man who works with his hands and his brain and his heart is an artist”

Artists are a rarity. Even good craftsman are hard to come by in a world of mass manufacturing.

Making friends with the sewing ladies gave me the opportunity to get to know the stories of each one of them, how some of them had been sewing all their lives, how they spent the early part of their career making a full garment. During the empowerment programme, I was also very impressed by how much initiative and effort they put into their work. 

I still do not doubt that their sewing skills, experience and passion are assets. But the changing economy has put them in a disadvantaged position. In the 80s, the sewing ladies were required to sew the whole garment. As the sewing industry evolved, scale, speed, productivity became the drivers of profitability. To achieve these goals, many sewing tasks were de-skilled and broken down into smaller and simpler tasks. Specialization to achieve higher productivity also confined workers' skills to some parts of a garment.

By the 90s, the handful of garment factories in Hong Kong were mostly confined to doing OPA (Outward Processing Arrangement) whereby workers in Hong Kong would only be sewing some parts of a garment e.g. the collars, shoulders and seams to qualify for tariff benefits. By the time we started taking orders, I realized that the skills of the sewing ladies at the social enterprise workshop had degenerated and it took a lot of effort, communication and motivation to help them revive their skills once again. It was challenging both for myself as I am not a garment expert and it was challenging for them because they had to practise very hard to catch up.

Doing customized garment making is an area which cannot be substituted by mass manufacturing. The social enterprise workshop can offer flexibility, quick turnaround and be able to fulfill small orders. But at the end of the day, products have to meet market standard. There are so many obstacles that have to be overcome, including sewing skills, limited access to fabrics and trims, and productivity in order to justify the high labour costs. As of today, I cannot confidently say that there is a compelling business case. Today I was having lunch with one of my most important mentors and a true role model Ada, and she assured me that now is definitely not the worst time. "The worst time is when you get an order which demands very high quality, that will be the worst nightmare..." I know it will be tough, but I also hope that day will come, since this would at least mean that the business can survive until then.