I have listened to the Les Misérables CD for more than 2 decades, and watched the musical live. But still, the latest movie version has not lost any appeal. In fact, the movie even led me to pay attention to a lot of details which I had missed in the musical years back. The impact of  the story lines was magnified, through  shaky-cam, wide-angle lenses and vertiginous crane shots, all designed to please the mainstream audience, including myself.


In recent years, one of my favourite songs which I would play over and over again, especially when I am in need of a boost of courage, is "One More Day". There is one line of lyrics which I can always remember, "I did not live until today". In fact, I never learned to truly appreciate this musical until today. I never realized that Jean Valjean's encounter with Bishop Myriel was so powerful. Bishop Myriel touched his soul and bought his soul in the name of God:

"Yet why did I allow that man
To touch my soul and teach me love?
He treated me like any other
He gave me his trust
He called me brother
My life he claims for God above
Can such things be?
For I had come to hate the world
This world that always hated me

Take an eye for an eye!
Turn your heart into stone!
This is all I have lived for!
This is all I have known!

One word from him and I'd be back
Beneath the lash, upon the rack
Instead he offers me my freedom
I feel my shame inside me like a knife
He told me that I have a soul,
How does he know?
What spirit comes to move my life?
Is there another way to go?"

The ending with the reunion of souls, Fantine and the Bishop is another example of how the movie version has a grander and more definitive impact compared with the other iterations in the past.

"To love another person is to see the face of God." How could I have missed this line for the past 20 years?

I live alone in a small apartment, smaller than B-612.

I have been living alone ever since university graduation and I don't recall having friends staying with me for more than a couple of days during all these years. Recently I offered a new friend to stay in my place while he was in town for a few weeks.

I was very humbled listening to his experience of growing up, the difficulty and the pain he went through.  There was also a fun side, listening to his adventurous past. Living in Hong Kong, I have always considered myself outside of mainstream. And having heard him talking about his life, I feel that I am not even close. In Hong Kong, a person's occupation defines him or her. If I apply the same theory to this friend, his path is certainly one of spiritual freedom, choosing nomadic travelling above mainstream ordinary life.

This friend is so different from what he appears to be. Beneath the quiet and reserved appearance is a kind, caring, gentle and yet misunderstood soul. It breaks my heart to see someone going through so much suffering since childhood, physically and mentally. I also have a lot of respect and admiration for someone who despite all these challenges, is not crushed and still has the determination to move on. It takes talent and lots of inner strength.


I remember in The Little Prince, the fox said, "Bien qu'avec le cœur. L'essentiel est invisible pour les yeux." ("One sees clearly only with the heart. What is essential is invisible to the eye.") He also said, "You become responsible, forever, for what you have tamed" and "It is the time you have devoted to your rose that makes your rose so important." Don't know why these quotes came up when I was thinking about the time we spent together.

A few months ago I thought I would only sign up for Gobi March 2013 when I feel my body is ready.

I finally got myself to sign up last week. I was sitting in the office and in-between tasks, and suddenly a thought came up. It's really not so much about the body, but the heart. I realized that the time when I really felt like signing up was the moment when I finally decided on my fundraising goals. I was finally able to put my wish list together. That was a wish list which made me feel a greater sense of mission, a wish list which would propel me to persist with training in the next few months.

As for the body? I can't help but remember a beautiful and cute all time children's classic which I found last year at Bring Me A Book.

A little railroad engine was employed about a station yard for such work as it was built for, pulling a few cars on and off the switches. One morning it was waiting for the next call when a long train of freight-cars asked a large engine in the roundhouse to take it over the hill. "I can't; that is too much a pull for me," said the great engine built for hard work. Then the train asked another engine, and another, only to hear excuses and be refused. In desperation, the train asked the little switch engine  to draw it up the grade and down on the other side. "I think I can," puffed the little locomotive, and put itself in front of the great heavy train. As it went on the little engine kept bravely puffing faster and faster, "I think I can, I think I can, I think I can."
As it neared the top of the grade, which had so discouraged the larger engines, it went more slowly. However, it still kept saying, "I—think—I—can, I—think—I—can." It reached the top by drawing on bravery and then went on down the grade, congratulating itself by saying, "I thought I could, I thought I could."

 The underlying theme is — a stranded train is unable to find an engine willing to take it on over difficult terrain to its destination. Only a little blue engine is willing to try and, with hard work and courage, overcomes a seemingly impossible task. That has been my mantra for the past few months and it really kept me motivated when I was about to die at the Action Asia Lantau 27k trail last week. I think I can.