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Yesterday, Dan suggested doing Mac 6 to 8 and I totally supported the idea. Unfortunately, he wasn't feeling well in the morning, so it was just Lucille and myself hiking. I thought I should do some more training before leaving for Jordan, so loaded my pack with two tubs of rice and drinks.
While people were busy faffing around during Chinese New Year, the monkeys were peaceful and relaxed. They just sat on the side of the road, not paying any attention to us and not expecting food. It was a peaceful and quiet morning, great for having deep conversations.
The Shadow of the Past and the Houses of Healing
Should a mom work on self-healing first before having her own children? I didn't have much ideas other than listening to Lucille sharing other people's ideas as I was hiking. But now that I come to think about it, maybe this doesn't have to happen in chronological sequence. Maybe it's not about clearing all issues before having children. None of us are perfect. We are just humans and it is perfectly acceptable that we will have issues from the past or present that set the scene for us to grow, learn and mature. It is unrealistic if we think we can clear all issues before moving into parenthood. Having said that, I think it's a good idea to make an effort to reflect on what issues we have, why they are there, what are we passing to our children, or what ultimately do we want to give to our children. Some parents think that having children give them a sense of purpose, and some confuse their sense of purpose with that of their children's by consciously or unconsciously projecting their hopes and aspirations to their children in the name of "best interests". If I can ever become a parent, I think ultimately it is love that matters most, and I want to become a better person so that I can give my best to my children.
The Twin (Transmission) Towers
Carrying a heavy pack for 5 hours on Mac 6-8 was a new challenge. As we were admiring and negotiating among the strange rock formations at the top of Tai Mo Shan, the heavy pack made me feel shorter and smaller than usual. I felt like a hobbit in the shire.
The transmission towers seemed especially daunting when we saw them from Needle Hill.With a heavy pack, it was impossible to run any faster to get there. As we were puffing up the highest peak in Hong Kong, I decided that focusing or looking at them was not helpful. I kept my head down and continued with our interesting conversations.
Galadriel, Lady of Lorien
It was touching listening to Lucille talking about how she wanted to do things that could be a source of motivation and inspiration to her family. Reminds me of Galadriel. Circumstances in life has put her in a position which she has to live with dignity and a strong will. Deep inside, there is a noble and generous spirit, the gift of insight into the minds of others, but she judges them with mercy and understanding.
With my mom's condition, both my mom and dad can't do much or can't go far now. But that doesn't stop my dad from looking at me as his source of joy, inspiration and pride. I never really described to my dad how I felt at the Gobi March. I just told him that I walked and finished the race. Seeing me coming back almost untouched, he had assumed the RacingThePlanet races are safe, doable and fun. Guess that's still his perception when I told him I would be doing Sahara/Jordan. He said he knew where the Petra was and remembered the set in Indiana Jones. Good. I know he wouldn't be worried about my safety and injuries.
Taming of Smeagol
To Lucille and Dan, I have always been Smeagol, trying to lure them into signing up for desert races. Today, Lucille saw me dragging a 4-5 kg pack up and down S6-8 and she had second thoughts about doing these races. We ran out of water for the last 10k and were roasted after the hike. Smeagol had failed utterly and was tamed for now.
